1. |
I Don't Know
02:51
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Oh I wanted so bad to write something upbeat
There must be an optimist buried between these old bones
I can count on one hand the times I’ve felt secure
I remember a time when my heart was still pure, now it’s stone
Should I talk to somebody or stay in my head?
Find a distraction or just go to bed?
I don’t know, I don’t know
I don’t think you can help me but maybe you can
I need more than a pep talk, more than a hand
I don’t know, I don’t know
I wish I could articulate all of this pain
But it comes out like static, a short in the wires of my brain
I’m an old antique dresser without any drawers
I’d search for some light but I’m comfortable under the floor
Should I talk to somebody or stay in my head?
Find a distraction or just go to bed?
I don’t know, I don’t know
Am I a sucker for sadness or is it one for me?
Am I losing my grip on some reality?
I don’t know, I don’t know
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2. |
Brokenfine
04:07
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The world is ours, though there’s a lot to feel
It’s hard enough to find a light
The night is young, so don’t you feel ashamed
Keep that flicker to the sky
Don’t let ‘em turn, turn the tables
Don’t let ‘em make you feel unable to grow
It’s alright, you are broken but you are fine
The world is ours, let’s let ‘em know
We’ll pave our own way through the mud
The night is young, so take my hand
Let me take away your doubts
I’ve been down myself
I have had that knife in hand
I broke the skin ‘til I saw red
It didn’t change a goddamn thing
Don’t let ‘em turn, turn the tables
Don’t let ‘em make you feel unable to grow
It’s alright, you are broken but you are fine
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3. |
Bloodshot Eye
03:13
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I can’t say I’m a patient man, though I want to be
I gotta figure it out
What happened to the man I used to be?
I feel more like a boy than ever
Oh, every now and then I get lonely
I couldn’t tell you why
And I’ve always got the feeling that something’s about to stop goin’ right
It’s been too many nights
I’m not sayin’ that it’s easy
I’m not sayin’ that it’s tough
But there comes a point in every man’s life when enough feels like enough
How many times can you get knocked down ‘til you find some comfort in the ground?
How many times can you say goodbye ‘til you enjoy the feeling of a bloodshot eye?
It’s a long road back from where I’m headed
I gotta figure it out
‘Cus some days just I’m hangin’ on by a memory
An invisible thread that’s all in my head
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4. |
57
04:06
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I can talk of love all that I want but it amounts to nothing but impure thoughts
And I can stay a million miles away when I’m right beside you, half awake
All I want is to talk with you for hours and hours, today
But I’ve run out of words that sound like flowers in a vase
You’re in my head a thousand times a day, then it’s radio silence
I’m not a saint, so don’t treat me that way
I act all connected, believe me I’m not
Should I just be alone?
I could use a friend much more than I could use a lover right now
I wish that I could break down all of this to a pattern of lovers, but I can’t
Should I just be alone?
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5. |
The Basement
03:40
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I remember my first guitar
It helped me start my first band
We made some noise in the basement
Our parents didn’t understand
Played the big stage once or twice
I had some loyal fans in my youth
Now I’m lucky if a couple dozen people come out to hear what I do
When my friends started gettin’ stoned
I had a difficult time
I missed the days of innocence
Nothin’ but sex on our minds
I fucked around in the basement
My first time was after prom
But I was more at home while I was lonely
Or at least I wrote better songs
I had a friend who came out to his parents
They didn’t take it well
We let him crash in our basement
A short escape from his hell
We lost touch for years and years
Then I learned of his suicide
Now every time I hear Pinkerton
I can’t help but think of him
When I came home after Freshman year
My room was rearranged
The bedsheets were rustled up and everything smelled strange
My Dad took over my twin bed to sleep apart from my Mom
This was no longer my basement
This was no longer my home
Sometimes I still miss the basement, my heaven underground
Sometimes I still miss the basement, my heaven underground
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6. |
An Ode to My Twenties
03:44
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In my twenties I had two kids
And I had to grow up real quick
In my twenties I moved out of state
And I stopped stayin' out late
I don't want to seem unhappy 'cus I'm not
This is an ode to my twenties, one third of my life
I met my craziest ex and my beautiful wife
I got my first tattoo, found a taste for wine
I watched my parents walk down two separate aisles
In my twenties I got pretty sick
Right after I became a graduate
In my twenties I got a "real" job
I'm not doin' quite what I thought
I don't want to seem ungrateful 'cus I'm not
This is an ode to my twenties, one third of my life
I met my craziest ex and my beautiful wife
I got my first tattoo, found a taste for wine
I watched my parents walk down two separate aisles
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7. |
What If
03:44
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There are times when only a song can heal your heart
I tried to write you one but I had no good place to start
I couldn’t free my mind from the chains of failure fear
Been stuck in dormancy for years
What if I wasn’t enough?
What if I was only alright?
What if I’ve lived like a fool just waitin’ on a sign?
What if I’d had more finesse?
What if I saved my breath?
What if I’d played by the rules?
Would we be here tonight?
There are times when only a song can ease your mind
I tried to write you one but the words didn’t come out right
I’ll search from coast to coast for some higher ground to stand
I’d wait ‘til doomsday for your hand
But what if that isn’t enough?
What if we start to unwind?
What if we spend all our days waitin’ on a sign?
What if we run out of notes?
What if my voice starts to choke?
What if that song doesn’t heal?
Where would we go from here?
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8. |
Right on the Money
02:46
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The skin's peeling off, the walls are coming down
I listen close but I can't hear a sound
Been trying to make sense of this empty room
My head's a balloon, deflating with the mood
Been swimming upstream the length of this river
They say the hustle's the way but it don't deliver
I've picked apart my memories countless times
Now fossils are all I find
Right on the money but the money's behind
The skin's peeling off, the walls are coming down
There's one too many stories to count
I remember when this shit felt real
I remember knowing how to feel
Been spending my hours graspin' at straws
Some days I feel like I'm just hovering on
Can't hear the difference between wrong and right
My tongue is silver but my eyes are too wide
Right on the money but the money's behind
The skin's peeling off, the walls are coming down
I try too hard to be something profound
All I really need is some peace of mind
All I really need is a few more lines
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9. |
Upside Down
04:09
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I look at all the things I have and wonder what I’ll outlive
I think the same of everyone and I can barely hold it in
Already know I’ll have regrets, already know I’ve missed out
You can tango with the moon but it rarely comforts you
One of these days, I won’t be afraid, no
One of these days, we will learn to wait
I may act like I’m awake, but I’m perpetually dreaming
And even though you praise my name, one day I’ll be anonymous
These will be halcyon days before we recognize them
I want to know you’ll stick around, to know you’ll remember me
One of these days, I won’t be afraid, no
One of these days, we will tempt fate
We’re all livin’ upside down
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10. |
Unheavenly Father
06:05
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Your mama raised you to be a church goin’ girl
So how can I tell you, that that’s all delusion to me?
Unheavenly - is that what you think about me?
Unheavenly - is that what they’ll say about me?
I don’t want to dwell on if there’s a heaven or hell
I just want to love you while you let me/love you while I can
If God is love, then what am I?
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TJ Foster Albany, New York
Singer/songwriter from Upstate New York. Also a member of the folk-rock group, Darling Valley.
I like sad music, sad movies, sad books, etc. etc. - I'm really good at bumming people out. But equally as good at Dad jokes.
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